Week 3 Recap: Whiskey Chick

Week 3, and we're really hitting our stride. It was a good week for blowouts, as the smallest margin of victory was 24 points, with the largest being 105.3(!).

Team of the week!

Yes, this is a real drink.

Alcoholic Chicken Drink is your NFL: Together We Make Football Team of the Week, with a grand total of 129.1 points, which was 23 points higher than the second-leading team, last week's team of the week Hannibal Lechlers, and the highest score of the season. They really made football this week. Their leading scorers:
Donald Brown, who carried the ball 31 times for 62 yards, and missed a pass for good measure, for a huge total of 48.4 points.
Ryan Fitzpatrick, with 14 incompletions, 3 interceptions, 2 sacks and a fumble for 30.8 points.
Denarius Moore, with 3 catches on 7 targets for only 23 yards, for 19 points.

Player of the Week!

file photo

Our first non-free agent non-QB Cymbalta: Depression Hurts™ Player of the Week, Mr. Donald Brown. As described above, Brown carried Alcoholic Chicken Drink to victory with his 48.4 points, a season high for RBs.


Position leaders:
QB: Matt Stafford, (12 incompletions, 2 INTs, 6 carries for 8 yards, 1 fumble lost, 2 sacks), 43.6 points, free agent
RB: Donald Brown, 48.5 points, Alcoholic Chicken Drink
WR: Andre Johnson, (4 catches on 11 targets for 24 yards), 35 points, Devils Backbone (on the bench!)
TE: Brent Celek (0(ZERO!) catches on 4 targets), 20 points, free agent
D/ST: Jaguars (44 points allowed, 529 yards allowed), 25 points, Avril Lavigne
K: Shayne Graham (Missed Extra Point, the highest scoring play in Bizarro Fantasy Football), 25 points, Finkle Is Einhorn
P: Mike Scifres (6 punts, 3 touchbacks), 9 puntos, free agent

Citizen Eco-Drive Unstoppable MVP Watch!

A new segment here at the Bizarro Blog, sponsored by Citizen Eco-Drive. Unstoppable? Eli Manning is. We will recount the current leaders at each position, as well as a top 5 overall scoring leaders.

By position:
QB: Chad Henne, 86.5 points, free agent
RB: LeSean McCoy, 78.5 points, Dickbut Kus
WR: Vincent Jackson, 59 points, Purple People Eaters
TE: Rob Gronkowski, 37 points, free agent
D/ST: Jaguars, 56 points, Avril Lavigne
K: Mike Nugent, Avril Lavigne, Kai Forbath, free agent, and Nate Freese, free agent (in real football as well), a 3-way tie at 40 points
P: Bryan Anger, 22 points, 2008 Detroit Lions

Top 5:
1. Chad Henne, QB, 86.5 points, free agent
2. Ryan Tannehill, QB, 85.6 points, 2008 Detroit Lions
3. Jake Locker, QB, 84.1 points, Alcoholic Chicken Drink
4. LeSean McCoy, RB, 78.5 points, Dickbut Kus
5. Matt Cassel, QB, 76.6 points, free agent

News & Notes!

Team Shiner is making a principled stand to not use any actually good players to game the system, and therefore we will not shame them. They are currently 0-3.

Several rookie QBs made their debuts on Sunday, in Teddy Bridgewater and Blake Bortles. This likely means Chad Henne and Matt Cassel will drop off the MVP watch as early as next week. Could Johnny "Football" Manziel be too far behind?