We're baaaaack - Draft Recap

For a limited time, this blog will be active again. Last year we promised that we would forget to update the blog after Week 2, and we made it one extra week before giving up. This year will likely be no different.

Draft Recap

Our draft was last night, and we had some very interesting developments.

- First off, we must shame Team KFed Shiner, for they did not update their pre-draft rankings, and autodrafted the greatest team in fantasy football history:

QB	Peyton Manning, Den QB
RB	Adrian Peterson, Min RB
RB	LeSean McCoy, Phi RB
WR	Calvin Johnson, Det WR
WR	Demaryius Thomas, Den WR
TE	Jimmy Graham, NO TE
FLEX	Jamaal Charles, KC RB
D/ST	Seahawks D/ST D/ST
K	Stephen Gostkowski, NE K
P	Donnie Jones, Phi P
BENCH
Bench	Matt Forte, Chi RB
Bench	Eddie Lacy, GB RB
Bench	Arian Foster, Hou RB
Bench	Aaron Rodgers, GB QB
Bench	DeMarco Murray, Dal RB
Bench	Drew Brees, NO QB
Bench	Dez Bryant, Dal WR

- Like last year, mediocre Quarterbacks were a hot commodity, and featured prominently in the first round, as all teams besides Team Shiner drafted a QB in the first round. Geno Smith had the honor of being the #1 overall pick to famed Canadian pop star Avril Lavigne, with last year's Bizarro MVP Joe Flacco going 3rd overall.

- The second round saw some shakeups, as expected 1st round pick Trent Richardson went with the first pick of the second round to purposely offensive team name Decker Like Rice. This selection was followed by the first real shock selection of the draft, with the Raiders Defense / Special Teams unit going with the 12th overall pick to defending champions 2 Girls 1 PUP. The remainder of the second round saw a mix of mediocre RBs and WRs, notably prominent white running back Toby Gerhart at #15 to Finkle Is Einhorn. 

- Third round featured 2 of the top players at their positions coming off the board, with Sammy Watkins going to Hannibal Lechlers and the Vikings D/ST going to Decker Like Rice. It also featured our first kicker, Sebastian "Sure I can make a 75 yard field goal" Janikowski going to newcomers Alcoholic Chicken Drink. 

Other notables:

Jared Cook, first TE off the board in round 4 to Alcoholic Chicken Drink

Bryan Anger, first punter off the board in round 5 to Decker Like Rice

Mark Sanchez, 2012 Hypothetical Bizarro League MVP, final round to Hannibal Lechlers

Noted Racist Riley Cooper, 2013's #141 Ranked WR, final round to defending champions 2 Girls 1 PUP

Draft Grades!

Hannibal Lechlers - B

Good blend of solid veterans in Joe Flacco, Shane Lechler, and Torrey Smith, along with promising rookies Sammy Watkins, Mike Evans, "Cairo Santos", and Johnny Manziel. Also picked up 2 top-10 defenses in the Eagles and Falcons. 

2 Girls, 1 PUP - B-

Took a gamble reaching for the Raiders Defense, which is bold considering they play Jacksonville and the Chiefs a combined 4 times. Solid combination of WRs, with the local duo Rueben Randle and Eric Decker leading the way, along with actually good player Kendall Wright, noted dropper of passes Aaron Dobson, and drunken racist Riley Cooper.

Devils Backbone - B-

Strong at RB with Stephen Jackson, Bishop Sankey, Knowshon Moreno, and sleeper Khiry Robinson. Really good late pickup in Shaun Hill at QB. Picked up practice squad WR Stephen Hill for some reason.

Avril Lavigne - B+

Solid team all-around. Compliments first overall pick Geno Smith with a massive RB corps of Ryan Mathews, Zac Stacy, Maurice Jones-Drew, Pierre Thomas, LeGarrette Blount, and Montee Ball. Downside: Scooped up Jacksonville's possibly improving defense. No backup for Geno Smith if he goes down or is somehow good.

Team Shiner - A+ F

I mean, this team is stacked. Manning AND Brees? Peterson AND McCoy? Running away with this league.  

Don't autodraft, kids.

Purple People Eaters - B-

Impressive complement of WRs and TE, with 2013 #2 WR Vincent Jackson and #2 TE Antonio Gates. Risky at QB with 2 possibly good QBs in Robert Griffin III and Jay Cutler.

Finkle is Einhorn - B+

The best RB set in the league, with last year's #1 RB Ray Rice backing up white running back Toby Gerhart and noted washed up RB Chris Johnson. Questionable talent at WR, as backing up promising starters Kelvin Benjamin and Hakeem Nicks they have actually good WRs in AJ Green, Brandon Marshall, and Jordy Nelson.

Decker Like Rice - B+

Solid overall team. Features 5 players who were top 5 at their positions in 2013, most of any team. Includes top RB Trent Richardson and top Punter Bryan Anger. Possible weakness would be fragility, as team features many oft-injured players. 

Dickbut Kus- B

Grabbed 2014 MVP Favorite EJ Manuel with the 2nd overall pick. Picked up 2 top 10 D/STs in the Cowboys (#1 in 2013) and Packers (#6 in 2013). Solid WRs led by 2013 #3 WR Mike Wallace and noted washed up asshole Steve Smith. Questionable at RB, with something called Lorenzo Taliaferro penciled in at RB2 after solid RB1 Shonn Greene. 

Alcoholic Chicken Drink - C

Risky team, with a lot of 2nd string players or players in a timeshare. Good pickups at QB with Locker and Fitzpatrick, and good WRs led by 2013 #5 WR Cecil Shorts and Denarius Moore.